Fire Emblem: Carly Rae Jepsen

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/rNYRhZG.jpg"> Which house in //Fire Emblem: Three Houses// are you in? [[Black Eagles->BeginningRed]] [[Blue Lions->BeginningBlue]] [[Golden Deer->BeginningGold]] [[Church of Seiros->BeginningSilver]]

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/lP5pqSu.jpg"> Light from the blue skies shines through the window. You, the pop sensation Carly Rae Jepsen, stand by a worn, wooden desk that has witnessed generations. A grumpy boomer with broccoli-colored hair struts in. "Pop sensation Carly Rae Jepsen?" [["That's me!"->Introductions II]] [["..."->Introductions II/silence]]

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/isDf6CN.jpg"> "My name is Seteth, advisor to Archbishop Rhea." The man eyes your unsheathed sword that you grip as if about to strike him down. "I must ask you to sheathe your sword. There is no threat here. Fódlan is at peace." [["What about the war?"->Introductions II/Great War]] [["Of course."->Introductions III]] [["That goes against my rights."->Introductions II/America]] [["..."->Introductions III/silence]]

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/isDf6CN.jpg"> "Have you not heard the birds sing? Felt the unfamiliar calm breeze? The war has ended. The sky is no longer orange! Thank heavens for that...." You realize you no longer hear the grating tune "Scales of the Goddess." Thank heavens, indeed. "Now, please. Your sword." [[*Sheathe dat long metal boi*->Introductions III]] [["..."->Introductions III/silence]]

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/bqye3H5.jpg"> Seteth's face relaxes. Can't blame him, I'd be afraid of pop sensation Carly Rae Jepsen, wielding a sword. "Now. You've come to Garreg Mach Monastery to educate our students about music. It's much appreciated because sometimes choir practice could be a useful form of torture," Seteth laughs quietly to himself. [[Humor him with a chuckle->Introductions IV/chuckle]] [["..."->Introductions IV]]

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/isDf6CN.jpg"> "Shy, are we? I assume you're pop sensation Carly Rae Jepsen because no one else is scheduled to arrive today. My name is Seteth." The grump averts his eyes to your unsheathed sword. "Please sheathe your sword; Fódlan is at peace. There will be no violence here." [["Sure thing."->Introductions III]] [["What about the war?->Introductions II/Great War]] [["That goes against my rights."->Introductions II/America]] [["..."->Introductions III/silence]]

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/isDf6CN.jpg"> Seteth sighs louder than a disappointed parent. He's clearly fed up with individuals who selfishly refuse to comply for the safety of others. "Sheathe it. Now." [["But...my rights!->Introductions II/America II]] [[*Sheathe your pokey stick*->Introductions III]] [["..."->Introductions III/silence]]

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/isDf6CN.jpg"> "Please... sheathe your sword." [["Of course."->Introductions III]] [["..."->Introductions III/silence II]]

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/isDf6CN.jpg"> "I will loop this text box until you sheathe it." [[*Sheathes sword in silence*->Introductions III]] [["..."->Introductions III/silence II]]

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/isDf6CN.jpg"> "What kind of joke are you playing at? Sheathe it. Now." [[Sheathe sword->Introductions III]] [[Murder Seteth because he violated your rights->Murder Seteth]] [["..."->Introductions III/silence]]

You thrust your sword into Seteth's stomach. Unfortunately, this does not fell him. He pulls a dagger from his cake cheeks and drives it into your heart. You died. Why would you kill a DILF? [[Restart->Opening]]

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/Eef7JVk.jpg"> "Now then, allow me to show you to your classroom. The students are eager to meet you." Seteth leads you out of his office. The two of you walk around the Monastery. It's a gorgeous location. You fantasize spending some quality tea time with dreamy individuals. Who aren't your students. That would be weird. You arrive at a fabulous, rainbow building built from multi-colored bricks. Seteth stops in front of the door. "This is it. We built it just for you, Professor." [["Rainbow? Very progressive!"->Introductions IV/progressive]] [[Go inside->Music Class I]] [["..."->Introductions IV/silent]]

"Progressive?" Seteth asks. "Yes, I suppose it is. That would be thanks to Claude. It was his decision." You smile knowing that at least one person in Fódlan has a good heart. [[Go inside->Music Class I]]

Inside the building was one giant room. Music note cut outs are poorly taped to the wall. Posters with artists such as Hatsune Miku accompanied by an inspirational quotes fill the empty spaces. It's a spitting recreation of a music room found in a primary school. You wonder to yourslef how old these students must be. A gaggle of students crowd the center of the room. They all turn when Seteth closes the door behind you. "Students, this is your new professor. Pop sensation Carly Rae Jepsen!" The students look you up and down. [["Hello, everyone!"->Music Class II]] [["..."->Music Class I/silence]]

"Why don't you head on in?" Seteth says. [[You gently open the door...->Music Class I]]

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/3pE5Flg.jpg"> An incredibly attractive man dressed in gold and brown steps forward. "Hey there, Teach. The name's Claude von Riegan, leader of the Golden Deer house," he says. he smiles his perfect smile. His beautifully slicked back hair. The concisely shaved facial hair. They all compliemnt his endearing eyes. God, he's so attractive. YUMMYYY A shorter woman dressed in red with silly, knock-off Princess Leia hair walks up to you. "I'm Edelgard, leader of the Black Eagles. It is my pleasure to meet you, Professor. I look forward to...learning rhythm from you." Edelgard steps to the side as a woman with seafoam-colored hair and THICCEST and PLUMPEST peach approaches you. "Pop sensation, Carly Rae Jepsen. I am an ardent follower of your music! I'm Archbishop Rhea, so happy to finally meet you." Rhea holds your hand with both of hers. Her hands are very soft and warm... [["It's wonderful meeting you all!"->Music Class III]] [["..."->Music Class I/silence II]] (if: $Silver > 0)[["Mommy."->Music Class I/Misunderstanding]]

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/3pE5Flg.jpg"> An incredibly attractive man dressed in gold and brown steps forward. "Hey there, Teach. The name's Claude von Riegan, leader of the Golden Deer house," he says. he smiles his perfect smile. His beautifully slicked back hair. The concisely shaved facial hair. They all compliemnt his endearing eyes. God, he's so attractive. YUMMYYY A shorter woman dressed in red with silly, knock-off Princess Leia hair walks up to you. "I'm Edelgard, leader of the Black Eagles. It is my pleasure to meet you, Professor. I look forward to...learning rhythm from you." Edelgard steps to the side as a woman with seafoam-colored hair and THICCEST and PLUMPEST peach approaches you. "Pop sensation, Carly Rae Jepsen. I am an ardent follower of your music! I'm Archbishop Rhea, so happy to finally meet you." Rhea holds your hand with both of hers. Her hands are very soft and warm... [["It's wonderful meeting you all!"->Music Class III]] if Church [["Mommy."->Music Class I/Misunderstanding]] [["..."->Music Class I/silence II]]

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/3pE5Flg.jpg"> "Not this SHIT again." Edelgard says. She draws her sword she used once in all of //Three Houses//. Rhea turns to her. "Edelgard, it's not like that!" "HOW CAN WE TRUST YOU, RHEA? WHO ELSE WILL YOU ARTIFICIALLY IMPREGNATE WITH YOUR MOTHER?" "I've turned a new leaf! You know this! //Animal Crossing// on the 3DS truly changed me." Rhea pulls out her //Fire Emblem: Awakening// special edition 3DS. She opens it. Her Animal Crossing villager, who looks suspiciously like Sothis, stands in The Roost. Edelgard lowers her sword. "My apologies, everyone." "No need for any apology. I understand your past trauma. Why don't you visit my town later tonight?" Rhea says. Edelgard nods, looks down and smiles to herself. [["..."->Music Class III]]

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/nId6MRO.jpg"> Everyone stands around awkwardly. A Mercedes drives up next to Claude. "Is this professor going to be a silent protagonist, too?" A clear womanizer with messy, red hair walks over. "Thank goodness we have another professor who isn't...like Hanneman. I might need some one-on-one lessons because I historically get behind. ;)" "Quiet, Sylvain!" Edelgard says. "Hey, hey, all I'm saying is that I'm gonna need some special coaching." You look past Sylvain. A man with an eyepatch and greasy hair sits in the corner. He sucks his thumb. Sylvain catches your gaze. "Ah, yes. That's Dimitri. He's the head of the Blue Lions. He's had it rough. Right, D?" Dimitri looks over. "no talk im angy" Sylvain smirks. "I'm gonna go kick it in my Chevy pickup before going mudding. Seeya, lovelies." He walks out. [["Why don't we get class started?"->Music Class IV]] [["..."->Music Class IV/silence]]

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/nId6MRO.jpg"> Everyone stands around awkwardly. A Mercedes drives up next to Claude, "beep, beep." A clear womanizer with messy, red hair walks over. "Thank goodness we have another professor who isn't...like Hanneman. I might need some one-on-one lessons because I historically get behind. ;)" "Quiet, Sylvain!" Edelgard says. "Hey, hey, all I'm saying is that I'm gonna need some special coaching." You look past Sylvain. A man with an eyepatch and greasy hair sits in the corner. He sucks his thumb. Sylvain catches your gaze. "Ah, yes. That's Dimitri. He's the head of the Blue Lions. He's had it rough. Right, D?" Dimitri looks over. "no talk im angy" Sylvain smirks. "I'm gonna go kick it in my Chevy pickup before going mudding. Seeya, lovelies." He walks out. [["Why don't we get class started?"->Music Class IV]] [["..."->Music Class IV/silence]]

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/rqdWrOa.jpg"> Everyone takes a seat at a table. Rhea walks you up to the front of the classroom. She moves to the side. The first time you've ever been in front of a classroom. Nerve-racking! The door SLAMS open. A young girl dressed in bright colors stumbles in like an anime girl. "I'm so sorry, Professor! I got caught up in my performance." The girl scurries over to a seat next to Claude. [["I'm sorry, what's your name?"->Music Class V]] [["..."->Music Class V/silent]]

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/rqdWrOa.jpg"> "Let's begin class!" Rhea says. Everyone takes a seat at a table. Rhea walks you up to the front of the classroom. She moves to the side. The first time you've ever been in front of a classroom. Nerve-racking! The door SLAMS open. A young girl dressed in bright colors stumbles in like an anime girl. "I'm so sorry, Professor! I got caught up in my performance." The girl scurries over to a seat next to Claude. [["I'm sorry, what's your name?"->Music Class V]] [["..."->Music Class V/silent]]

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/iwVVOqd.jpg"> "My name is Tsubasa Oribe from //Tokyo Mirage Sessions ♯FE Encore// for the Nintendo Switch!" Claude looks at you and chuckles. "She replaced Lorenz when he died." You look down at your attendance clipboard. You put a checkmark next to "Tsubasa Oribe from //Tokyo Mirage Sessions ♯FE Encore// for the Nintendo Switch". [["Let's begin!"->Music Class VI]] [["Lorenz died?"->Lorenz Death]] [["..."->Music Class VI/silent]]

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/iwVVOqd.jpg"> Claude looks at you. He chuckles. "That's Tsubasa Oribe from //Tokyo Mirage Sessions ♯FE Encore// for the Nintendo Switch, teach. She replaced Lorenz when he died." You look down at your attendance clipboard. You put a checkmark next to "Tsubasa Oribe from Tokyo Mirage Sessions ♯FE Encore for the Nintendo Switch". You shoot Claude a smile. [["Lorenz died?"->Lorenz Death]] [["Let's begin!"->Music Class VI]] [["..."->Music Class VI/silent]]

You teach the class some fun rhythms and notes! [[Next->Music Class VII]]

"Time to begin, Professor." Rhea says. You teach the students some funky rhythms and cool notes. [[Next->Music Class VII]]

On the other side of Fódlan... [[Begin the exposition->Dragon Origins]]

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/5hcs1EM.jpg"> Deep in a cave...below a castle...in a tower...under the sea...at your local park...beneath your bed lies a dark and evil lair... A short, hooded figure paces MENACINGLY by an all-seeing crystal ball. "Hmmm. It seems pop sensation Carly Rae Jepsen has become a professor at the Garreg Mach Monastery. I think it's finally time..." The figure lowers his hood to reveal green fabric and two large eyes. It's Kermit the Frog (although it doesn't seem like he's here to sing about rainbows)! [[What is Kermit up to?->Dragon Origins II]]

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/A036ktE.jpg"> Kermit walks over to a conveniently dark area of his studio apartment he has dubbed an "Evil Lair". "It's time, my friend." A beast that every Fire Emblem game has stepped out of the shadows. A dragon! Kermit laughs manically, but not too loudly as he's gotten multiple noise complaints from his neighbors in the past month. [[Okay, that's enough set up for the villain->Free Time I]]

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/VjAJcL6.jpg"> The students and pop sensation Carly Rae Jepsen have just finished their first music class. They all sang Fódlan classics such as: "SexyBack" by Justin Timberlake, "Fireflies" by Owl City, and "Lost in Thoughts All Alone" by Azura Fire Emblem. "Well done, Professor. I enjoyed that very much!" Rhea says. [["Thank you! I can't wait for the next class~!"->Free Time II]] [["It would have been better if you sang with us, Rhea!"->Compliment Rhea]] [["..."->Free Time II/silent]]

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/VjAJcL6.jpg"> Edelgard walks up to you and Rhea. "Now that class is over, why don't we play a game? It'd be a great way to get to know you better, Professor." Claude catches wind of the conversation and intervenes. "What game are we talking about here? I love games." Edelgard seems annoyed Claude is ruining her perfect bonding time with pop sensation Carly Rae Jepsen but she lets it slide. "I was thinking //Among Us//," Edelgard says. "That's fun and all, but I think //Minecraft// is the better option here." Claude replies. "//Among Us// objectively requires more teamwork and communication. It will form a deeper bond in a shorter amount of time," Edelgard argues. "Pfft. There's always that ONE person in //Among Us// who takes it way too seriously. Come on, everyone can have fun in //Minecraft//. There's no arguing," Claude says. "Arguments are sometimes necessary to build friendships, Claude." "Clearly it didn't help our friendship out." Rhea interjects, "Perhaps, we should let the professor decide. Which would you rather play, //Among Us// or //Minecraft//?" [["//Among Us//!"->Among Us I]] [["//Minecraft//!"->Minecraft I]] [["..."->Undertale I]]

"I'm flattered that you want to hear my voice, but I save it for...special occasions." You wonder if you'll ever have the opportunity to rest your head on her juicy thighs and listen to her angelic voice. You feel your bond with Rhea grow! [[Carry on with post-class activities!->Free Time II]]

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/LalXhFE.jpg"> (set: $AmongUs += 1)"You won't regret this, Professor," Edelgard says as she pulls out her Nintendo Switch. Seteth sighs. He, Claude, and Rhea pull out their Switches. You pull yours out and boot up //Among Us//. [[Join the //Among Us// lobby->Among Us II]]

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/AAVzJpp.jpg"> (set: $Minecraft += 1)Seteth looks up, suddenly very interested in the conversation. "That is Flayn's favorite game. We should invite her!" "Unfortunately Flayn lost her privilege to play games for the rest of the month after her...//Fortnite// incident," Rhea says. Seteth sighs and shamefully looks to the ground. "Of course. It slipped my mind." "Everyone get your Switch out. It's time to play //Minecraft//!" Claude, Edelgard, Rhea, Seteth, and Dimitri all take out their Nintendo Switch. Thank goodness you brought your Switch Lite today. And thank goodness Hubert remembered to pay the internet bill this month! You pull out your Switch. [[Start //Minecraft//->Minecraft II]]

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/BMuHGfW.jpg"> (set: $Undertale += 1)"//Undertale//!" a voice from the back says. Dimitri. Dimitri suggesting //Undertale//? "Wonderful idea, Dimitri!" Rhea says. Tsubasa Oribe from //Tokyo Mirage Sessions ♯FE Encore// for the Nintendo Switch begins humming "Megalovania" from //Undertale//. "Superb idea, Dimitri." Edelgard says and puts her Nintendo Switch on the table. "I got stuck on one of the final bosses so it'd be wonderful if you could beat it for me, Professor." "How hard could Flowey be, Edelgard?" Claude laughs. [[Start playing Undertale->Undertale II]]

"Ah, yeah. They had to kill SOMEONE off otherwise fans would've called this a 'baby game'" Claude says. "I don't think anyone misses him so it's okay." [["..."->Music Class VI/silent]]

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/xV6qH7M.jpg"> You load up the save file. You're in an orange hallway. A shadowy figure walks up to you. A battle begins! A silly skeleton with a sweater and- ''"SANS?"'' Claude steps back. "He's really tough!" Edelgard says. "Edelgard, you did the Genocide route?" Rhea asks "Of course. You must defeat your enemies to achieve true victory," she says. Everyone stares at her blankly all sharing the same memories from the war. "Do you need help, Teach?" CLaude asks. "I've watched at least eight different videos of my favorite Youtubers fighting him." Claude asks. [["I could use some assistance..."->Undertale III/yes]] [["No thanks, Claude. Sans is going to have a...BAD TIME!"->Undertale III/no]] [["..."->Undertale III/silent]]

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/GfyEYym.jpg"> Claude backs off a bit. You ready your Gamer™ hands and begin the fight. "Megalovania" plays. Tsubasa Oribe from //Tokyo Mirage Sessions ♯FE Encore// for the Nintendo Switch hums along to the tune. Sans Undertale throws some wild and difficult obstacles at you. You dodge them perfectly! Not a single hitpoint has been lost so far! WHO KNEW POP SENSATION CARLY RAE JEPSEN WAS SUCH A GAMER™? Sans uses Gaster Blasters! It's not very effective as you dodge them FLAWLESSLY! Edelgard's eyes are GLUED to the screen. Claude's jaw HITS THE FLOOR! Rhea smirks. Dimitri sulks. After a long, arduous battle...you defeated Sans Undertale. "Epic gaming, Teach!" Claude says excitedly. Edelgard smiles ear to ear. No one has ever seen her smile like that since Byleth left. You put down the Nintendo Switch. You feel as good as you did when "Call Me Maybe" topped the music charts. ...The back of your hand illuminates. [[Next->Final Fight I]]

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/GfyEYym.jpg"> Claude leans in close to you. //WHEW// "Okay, so just be sure to move around the analog stick and press the A button to jump. And just be good. Pretty simple." He smiles at you. You ready your Gamer™ hands and begin the fight. "Megalovania" plays. Tsubasa Oribe from //Tokyo Mirage Sessions ♯FE Encore// for the Nintendo Switch hums along. Sans Undertale throws some wild and difficult obstacles at you. You dodge them perfectly! Not a single hitpoint has been lost so far! WHO KNEW POP SENSATION CARLY RAE JEPSEN WAS SUCH A GAMER™? Sans uses Gaster Blasters! It's not very effective as you dodge them FLAWLESSLY! Edelgard's eyes are GLUED to the screen. Claude's jaw HITS THE FLOOR! Rhea smirks. Dimitri sulks. After a long, arduous battle...you defeated Sans Undertale. "Epic gaming, Teach!" Claude says excitedly. Edelgard smiles ear to ear. No one has ever seen her smile like that since Byleth left. You put down the Nintendo Switch. You feel as good as you did when "Call Me Maybe" topped the music charts. ...The back of your hand illuminates. [[Next->Final Fight I]]

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/GfyEYym.jpg"> "I think she's got this, Claude." Edelgard says. You ready your Gamer™ hands and begin the fight. "Megalovania" plays. Tsubasa Oribe from //Tokyo Mirage Sessions ♯FE Encore// for the Nintendo Switch hums along to the tune. Sans Undertale throws some wild and difficult obstacles at you. You dodge them perfectly! Not a single hitpoint has been lost so far! WHO KNEW POP SENSATION CARLY RAE JEPSEN WAS SUCH A GAMER™? Sans uses Gaster Blasters! It's not very effective as you dodge them FLAWLESSLY! Edelgard's eyes are GLUED to the screen. Claude's jaw HITS THE FLOOR! Rhea smirks. Dimitri sulks. After a long, arduous battle...you defeated Sans Undertale. "Epic gaming, Teach!" Claude says excitedly. Edelgard smiles ear to ear. No one has ever seen her smile like that since Byleth left. You put down the Nintendo Switch. You feel as good as you did when "Call Me Maybe" topped the music charts. ...The back of your hand illuminates. [[Next->Final Fight I]]

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/UWIsGDT.jpg"> The light grows stronger. Everyone in the room is staring at you. "It's..." Seteth begins. "The Crest of Rhythm!" Rhea says. Everyone in the room gasps. What do they know? Is this a forbidden secret? Why do you have this crest? "Archbishop, we must prepare for what happens next." Seteth says. Rhea closes her eyes and bows her head. "It may already be too late." The door SLAMS open. Ryuji, a punk student with blonde hair rushes in. "Archbishop, he's here!" Ryuji says. [["Who's here?"->Final Fight II]] [["..."->Final Fight II/silent]]

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/AAVzJpp.jpg"> The beautiful //Minecraft// title screen. Could make even a grown woman cry. You join a world with your students and advisors. Claude is getting wood, Dimitri is adjusting his controls, Rhea is punching a cow, Edelgard is off somewhere, and Seteth is digging straight down. What do you want to do? [[Get wood with Claude->Minecraft II/Get Wood]] [[Punch a cow->Minecraft II/Punch Cow]] [[Dig straight down->Minecraft II/Dig Down]]

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/oKaJXUq.jpg"> You join your boy Claude in gathering wood. After getting enough, you make a crafting table. Everyone is having a great time and begin building small houses for themselves. Suddenly, Rhea SCREAMS. "Edelgard, why are you pouring lava on my house?" "Edelgard stop that this instant!" Seteth runs over. "Sorry, Archbishop. My finger slipped." "My house!" Rhea puts her Switch down in defeat. "Maybe that's enough //Minecraft// for today." Claude says. Everyone turns off their Switches. Rhea shoots a mean look at Edelgard. ...The back of your hand illuminates. [[Next->Final Fight I]]

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/oKaJXUq.jpg"> You join Rhea in punching innocent animals for materials. You murder some cows and get some leather for fancy armor! Ssss... BOOM! Unfortunately, a creeper snuck up on you and exploded! You died. You respawn. Claude has built small shacks for each person. Everyone is having a great time! Rhea screams. "Edelgard, why are you pouring lava on my house?" "Edelgard stop that this instant!" Seteth demands. "Sorry, Archbishop. My finger slipped." "My house!" Rhea cries and puts down her Switch. "Maybe that's enough //Minecraft// for today," Claude says. Everyone turns off their Switches. Rhea shoots a mean look at Edelgard. ...The back of your hand illuminates. [[Next->Final Fight I]]

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/oKaJXUq.jpg"> You gather some sticks and wood, craft a pickaxe, and dig straight down. You mine through dirt and cobblestone until it becomes completely dark. You keep digging. And digging. And digging. Until finally... LIGHT...from lava. You fall into the lava and die. Claude, who's next to you, laughs at your silly mistake. You respawn. Claude has built small shacks for each person. Everyone is having a great time! Rhea screams. "Edelgard, why are you pouring lava on my house?" "Edelgard stop that this instant!" Seteth demands. "Sorry, Archbishop. My finger slipped." "My house!" Rhea cries and puts down her Switch. "Maybe that's enough //Minecraft// for today," Claude says. Everyone turns off their Switches. Rhea shoots a mean look at Edelgard. ...The back of your hand illuminates. [[Next->Final Fight I]]

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/LalXhFE.jpg"> Edelgard chooses red. Rhea goes with green. Seteth is blue. Claude is yellow. You choose pink because it's objectively the best color. The game begins. You're on the spaceship, the Skeld. An all-time classic map. You're not the imposter thankfully. Time to go do some tasks in electrical, maybe swipe your card, or start— ''EMERGENCY MEETING!'' Edelgard has called an emergency meeting just SECONDS into the game. "Why did you call a meeting, Edelgard?" Claude asks. "Rhea's sus. She's the imposter," Edelgard says. "WHAT?" Rhea replies. "Edelgard, you can't just throw assumptions out like that!" Seteth says. Edelgard casts her vote for Rhea. Rhea casts her vote for Edelgard. "Childish!" Seteth votes to skip. "This is ridiculous. Professor, who do you think is the imposter?" Rhea asks. [["Rhea."->Among Us II/rhea]] [["Edelgard."->Among Us II/edelgard]] [["Seteth."->Among Us II/seteth]] [["Claude."->Among Us II/claude]] [[Vote to skip->Among Us II/skip]]

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/LalXhFE.jpg"> "Rhea's sus." You vote for Rhea. Claude does as well. Rhea's body was thrown off the ship. Rhea was the imposter. You Win! "Nice job, Edelgard!" Claude says. "How did you know?" Rhea asks. "I just know how you act. Don't you remember our last //Among Us// game?" Edelgard asks. Rhea blushes. "That was different..." You look down at your hand. ...The back of your hand illuminates. [[Next->Final Fight I]]

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/LalXhFE.jpg"> "Edelgard sus." You vote for Edelgard. Claude votes for Edelgard. Edelgard is ejected. Edelgard is not the imposter. Concerning...maybe Rhea is truly the imposter. Edelgard sighs and shoots you a look. You continue playing. You go to electrical to do your tasks. Suddenly the vent in electrical opens. Rhea. She cuts you down. Rhea //was// the imposter! The game plays out and Rhea ends up winning. She cheers and laughs to herself. Edelgard rolls her eyes. You look down at your hand. ...The back of your hand illuminates. [[Next->Final Fight I]]

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/LalXhFE.jpg"> "Seteth sus." You vote for Seteth. Claude votes Seteth. Seteth is ejected. Seteth is not the imposter. Concerning...maybe Rhea is truly the imposter. Seteth grumbles to himself. You continue playing. You go to electrical to do your tasks. Suddenly the vent in electrical opens. Rhea. She cuts you down. Rhea //was// the imposter! The game plays out and Rhea ends up winning. She cheers and laughs to herself. Edelgard rolls her eyes. You look down at your hand. ...The back of your hand illuminates. [[Next->Final Fight I]]

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/LalXhFE.jpg"> "Claude sus." You vote for Claude. Claude is ejected. Claude is not the imposter. "Claude, why'd you vote for yourself?" Edelgard asks. "I didn't think anyone would actually vote for me," Claude says. Maybe Rhea is truly the imposter. You continue playing. You go to electrical to do your tasks. Suddenly the vent in electrical opens. Rhea. She cuts you down. Rhea //was// the imposter! The game plays out and Rhea ends up winning. She cheers and laughs to herself. Edelgard rolls her eyes. You look down at your hand. ...The back of your hand illuminates. [[Next->Final Fight I]]

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/LalXhFE.jpg"> "No one's sus." You vote to skip. Claude votes Rhea. No one is ejected. You continue playing. You go to electrical to do your tasks. Suddenly the vent in electrical opens. Rhea. She cuts you down. Rhea //was// the imposter! The game plays out and Rhea ends up winning. She cheers and laughs to herself. Edelgard rolls her eyes. You look down at your hand. ...The back of your hand illuminates. [[Next->Final Fight I]]

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/9Eyqh5Z.jpg"> Rhea looks back at you. "You are the chosen one. The one with the Crest of Rhythm. Which means, your counterpart has also arrived in this world: the one who wields the Crest of Tempo. The ground shakes. Everyone rushes outside. An old Chevy S-10 sits outside the building. Its red paintjob is chipped, faded, and covered in mud. Sylvain sits in the driver's seat. He notices everyone rush out. He looks over to wave, but before he can extend his arm out, his truck is engulfed in flames. Goodbye, Sylvain. [[Next->Final Fight III]]

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/lXmnjpX.jpg"> A large beast from the sky lands by the burning pickup truck. A ferocious dragon the size of The Immaculate One. Except instead of a dragon head, it was Kanye West's head. Most importantly, the dragon's legs are missing. Instead, they are tucked inside a dinky, metal wagon. "The legendary Yeezy Wagon Dragon..." Rhea mutters. "That is correct, Ms. Rhea!" A cloaked figure hops off the back off the Yeezy Wagon Dragon. They remove their hood. Kermit the Frog. "Kermit..." Claude says. "Those Who Croak in The Dark..." Edelgard says. Kermit picks up the handle for wagon the Yeezy Wagon Dragon sits in. He pulls him closer to the crowd. "It's time for Garreg Mach Monastery to burn to the ground! Including you, pop sensation Carly Rae Jepsen." Kermit says. [["But why!?"->Final Fight IV]] [["..."->Final Fight IV/silent]]

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/yPFhQvZ.jpg"> "I'm happy you asked. Back in 2011, my fantastic movie premiered. //The Muppets// revival! A brilliant movie, I think we can all agree." Kermit said. "It was pretty damn good," Edelgard says. "I saw it five times. In theaters," Claude replies. "I cried," Seteth admits. Kermit continues, "Not even a year later, YOU show up, pop sensation Carly Rae Jepsen. Your hit song 'Call Me Maybe' made EVERYONE forget about my perfect reboot. No one listened to'"Rainbow Connection' or 'Man Or Muppet' as much as your forgettable crap!" "That doesn't even make sense; her song was a whole year later," Seteth says. Kermit huffs, "It doesn't have to make sense. Nothing here makes sense!" Joe Zieja, the voice actor of Claude von Riegan, walks up next to Seteth. "That's true." [["Just because I had a successful song doesn't mean you have to burn down the Monastery!"->Final Fight V]] [["Just take me instead!"->Final Fight V/sacrifice]] [["..."->Final Fight V/silent]]

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/lXmnjpX.jpg"> "Why won't you ask me for my motivation? Forget it, I'll be like many //Fire Emblem// villains and save it for a repeat playthrough. It's time to burn!" Kermit says. He laughs manically as the Yeezy Wagon Dragon begins charging some firebreath to melt the Garreg Mach Monastery gang. But in that moment...Sylvain's Chevy EXPLODES! The explosion wounds the Yeezy Wagon Dragon and Ferdinand von Aegir who was passing by. "NO, YEEZY!" Kermit cries out. The Yeezy Wagon Dragon whimpers in pain. Until suddenly...he glows a bright white light. [[Next->Final Fight VI]]

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/jYixsCW.jpg"> Kermit laughs manically as the Yeezy Wagon Dragon begins charging some firebreath to melt the Garreg Mach Monastery gang. But in that moment...Sylvain's Chevy EXPLODES! The explosion wounds the Yeezy Wagon Dragon and Ferdinand von Aegir who was passing by. "NO, YEEZY!" Kermit cries out. The Yeezy Wagon Dragon whimpers in pain. Until suddenly...he glows a bright white light. [[Next->Final Fight VI]]

"Very well," Kermit signals with his hand. The Kanye face on the Yeezy Wagon Dragon moves in and eats you. You died. [[Try again?->Final Fight IV]]

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/jYixsCW.jpg"> "No words? Speechless? Hah!" Kermit laughs manically as the Yeezy Wagon Dragon begins charging some firebreath to melt the Garreg Mach Monastery gang. But in that moment...Sylvain's Chevy EXPLODES! The explosion wounds the Yeezy Wagon Dragon and Ferdinand von Aegir who was passing by. "NO, YEEZY!" Kermit cries out. The Yeezy Wagon Dragon whimpers in pain. Until suddenly...he glows a bright white light. [[Next->Final Fight VI]]

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/xGtK6ZX.mp4"> The Yeezy Wagon Dragon has evolved into a... Yeezy Volkswagen Dragon! "No one man should have all that power..." Rhea says. [[Fight Kanye->Final Fight VII]]

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/wgRisdW.jpg"> Claude draws his bow. Edelgard prepares her axe. Seteth mounts his wyvern. Rhea readies her cake. You ready your epic sword. The battle begins! You each take turns attacking. Kermit and the Yeezy Volkswagen Dragon wait for the player phase to end. You move Claude, Edelgard, Yourself, Seteth, and Rhea forward. They attack. No damage! Concerning! Enemy phase. Kermit waits. The Yeezy Volkswagen Dragon attacks Claude! 50 damage on Claude. :( "He's invulnerable to our attacks. What do we do?" Edelgard asks. "I have no idea! No one has posted a guide online yet," Rhea replies. "Has anyone checked Twitter for help?" Tsubasa Oribe from //Tokyo Mirage Sessions ♯FE Encore// for the Nintendo Switch asks. "Idk, I can't check Twitter because I got banned for calling Rhea a bitch," Edelgard admits. "Any ideas, Teach?" Claude asks you. [[Use the MacGuffin!->Final Fight VIII]]

You pull out your smartphone that has //Fire Emblem: Heroes// installed on it. You open //Heroes//. New Banner: Kermit the Frog and Yeezy Volkswagen Dragon! It's TIME to summon! Good thing you're a pop sensation and have loads of money so you can buy hundreds of orbs. [[SUMMON UNTIL YOU GET THEM!->Summon I]]

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/wRsDVAr.jpg"> The Yeezy Volkswagen Dragon begins to shimmer away into the air. "Yeezy, why?" Kermit asks in a panic. On your phone, the Yeezy Volkswagen Dragon has been summoned! The dragon is slain. You show your phone to Kermit. "Curses!" Kermit gets on a bicycle and pedals away. "I'll get you next time, pop sensation Carly Rae Jepsen!" he shouts as he pedals away from the Monastery. Dimitri grabs your phone, slams it to the ground, and whacks it with his lance multiple times. Your phone is DEMOLISHED. "no talk im angy." Dimitri walks away. Yuri "Rat King" Fire Emblem, an underground-dweller with purple hair walks by him. "Hey, I heard you guys were playing (if: $Minecraft > 0)[Minecraft](if: $AmongUs > 0)[Among Us](if: $Undertale > 0)[Undertale] Can I join?" [["Let's play!"->Ending]] [["..."->Silent Prelude to End]]

And so Garreg Mach Monastery was saved thanks to you, pop sensation Carly Rae Jepsen! [[One week later->Ending II]]

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/wRsDVAr.jpg"> "Is that a no?" Yuri asks. Everyone walks away from Yuri. "Oh, come on, guys. Was I late to the party again?" [[Next->Ending]]

One week has passed... All the students have successfully gotten their doctorate degrees! Edelgard is on the path to becoming a dentist. Claude has his eyes set on becoming a dermatologist. Dimitri already has a job set up for a cardiologist. Tsubasa Oribe from //Tokyo Mirage Sessions ♯FE Encore// for the Nintendo Switch has an interview to become a neurologist. Ryuji failed his final, but he's still trying to become a optometrist. Sylvain ended up surviving the explosion and had quintuplets with Lucina. Byleth kept smashing. And Rhea and Seteth resumed their monastery life. As for you? Well besides that snazzy new phone you bought... [[Next->Ending III]]

You stand atop some tower that was completely irrelevant in the story. The Goddess Tower or something. For some reason you're inclined to romance someone. I guess that happens in every game these days. Who will you romance? (if: $Red > 0)[[Edelgard->Edelgard]] (if: $Blue and $Undertale > 0)[[Dimitri->Dimitri]] (if: $Gold > 0)[[Claude->Claude]] (if: $Silver > 0)[[Rhea->Rhea]] [[No one->No One]]

You decided not to romance anyone! Probably for the best because you knew these people for, like, a week? That's too fast even for me. Maybe you'll try out Tinder Emblem. You've heard good things about that! [[Next->Thanks for playing!]]

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/TRBrvIl.jpg"> "Professor, you called?" Edelgard walks into the room and sits on the casting couch. She observes the tower. You look into her eyes, but she's lost in thought. Perhaps remembering a previous time she visited the tower? It doesn't matter. Her eyes were as purple as a grape. You know, one of those anime grapes. Are there any actual purple grapes in real life? I've literally never seen one. Anyway. Edelgard blushes. She knows why you called her here, and she knows how horribly she struggles when flustered. "...Professor?" [["Hey, I just met you and this is crazy..."->Edelgard II]]

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/Vfw5wj0.jpg"> Dimitri walks up to you in the Goddess Tower. He looks grumpy as ever. He also towers over you. How did this man turn out to be so BIG? You know exactly what he's going to say "no talk im angy". It's all he says. How can you confess your love to him? "Professor, I have romantic feelings for you. I don't want to take this slow. I want to cut to the feeling." Oh. Convenient. [["Give me all you got. I want it all or nothing."->Dimitri II]]

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/hrFuGkG.jpg"> "Teach?" a charming voice echoes in the distance. The only man to have such a beautiful voice is...Claude...hhhhh. Claude approaches you. "I assume this is because you heard about my new job? Dermatologist all the way in Canada. Brrr." You look down at the ground. Silent. You hadn't heard this. How can you romance him now? Long distance? Make a marriage pact? Claude can sense your sadness. He walks to you. "Talk to me." [["You're stuck in my head, stuck on my heart. Stuck in my body, body. I wanna go, get outta here."->Claude II]]

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/Ea9Z8cy.jpg"> LORD, IS SHE EVER NOT THE HOTTEST MILF? Rhea walks up to you. Cheeks CLAPPING. But are you actually interested in her as a person? Or are you only interested in her body? You're about to romance her. Do you LOVE her? Or do you just really, really, really, really, really, really like her? USE YOUR HEAD, POP SENSATION CARLY RAE JEPSEN. "Professor, are you okay?" Rhea has been trying to get your attention for the past few seconds. Stop zoning out. [["I really, really, really, really, really, really like you. And I want you. Do you want me? Do you want me too?"->Rhea II]]

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/rNYRhZG.jpg"> Thank you for playing //Fire Emblem Three Houses 2: Pop Sensation Carly Rae Jepsen//! Created by: Mamodxx Edited by: WonderBurrito Played by: You <3 [[Replay->Opening]]

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/TRBrvIl.jpg"> "But here's my number." You hand her a piece of paper with your digits on it. "So call me maybe?" Edelgard's face turns as red as her outfit. "Yes, Professor. I will call you! I will!" Edelgard says excitedly. You're defs dating now. Or at least going on a date. That's pretty nice, good job! Take her to Walmart. It'll be a good time, I guarantee it. "I may have to borrow Tsubasa Oribe from //Tokyo Mirage Sessions ♯FE Encore// for the Nintendo Switch's phone because I don't have one. But expect a text. Soon!" Edelgard rushes away. You smile... [[Next->Thanks for playing!]]

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/WPuhf3x.jpg"> "Baby, every single minute. I'll be your hero and win it. Run away with me." Claude holds your hands. His hands are the most comforting cold you've felt. You nod. He takes your hand and you run away to Canada. Literally just run there. I hope you brought water with you, that's a long walk! You successfully ran away to Canada with Claude. Even though...that's where pop sensation Carly Rae Jepsen is from, but that's irrelevant. IT'S ROMANTIC! [[Next->Thanks for playing!]]

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/Ea9Z8cy.jpg"> "Yes, Professor. I do want you." OH MAMA. "I would like you to stay here with me. At the Monastery. Or if not, I'll join you on your tours. I'll watch every one of your shows. Please stay with me..." You reassure Rhea that you want to spend your life with her. She's happy. You're happy. "Now, let me sing a song for you..." Rhea sings the lovely song you hear in Chapter nine of //Three Houses//. Maybe you like her more than really, really, really, really, really, really like. Maybe you love her. [[Next->Thanks for playing!]]

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/Vfw5wj0.jpg"> A rare sight! Dimitri smiles for the first time in the entire visual novel! "I'm sure you may have struggled trying to get my romance." He's right. It was a lot more difficult to get him as a romance option compared to others. "It's because the writer didn't want to write me poorly. I have a lot of passionate fans. I must be treated delicately. Otherwise...well. Not a good time." He's so right, let me tell you. "Anyway, would you like to watch Netflix? My friends Annette and Felix do that often so I thought we could, too." [["Yes!"->Dimitri III]]

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/hW18TKm.jpg"> "Cool. We're going to watch //Psycho//." You watch //Pyscho// with Dimitri inside the Goddess Tower and live happily ever after! [[Next->Thanks for playing!]]

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/AuY1Qsh.jpg"> (set: $Red += 1)A year has passed since the end of the War... The students have returned to Garreg Mach Monastery to finish their education... Edelgard, Dimitri, Claude, Yuri, and Rhea have all survived through the war in a hidden route Nintendo never released... Byleth has disappeared... Garreg Mach is in need of a new professor... You. [[Next->Introductions]]

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/AuY1Qsh.jpg"> (set: $Blue += 1)A year has passed since the end of the War... The students have returned to Garreg Mach Monastery to finish their education... Edelgard, Dimitri, Claude, Yuri, and Rhea have all survived through the war in a hidden route Nintendo never released... Byleth has disappeared... Garreg Mach is in need of a new professor... You. [[Next->Introductions]]

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/AuY1Qsh.jpg"> (set: $Gold += 1)A year has passed since the end of the War... The students have returned to Garreg Mach Monastery to finish their education... Edelgard, Dimitri, Claude, Yuri, and Rhea have all survived through the war in a hidden route Nintendo never released... Byleth has disappeared... Garreg Mach is in need of a new professor... You. [[Next->Introductions]]

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/AuY1Qsh.jpg"> (set: $Silver += 1)A year has passed since the end of the War... The students have returned to Garreg Mach Monastery to finish their education... Edelgard, Dimitri, Claude, Yuri, and Rhea have all survived through the war in a hidden route Nintendo never released... Byleth has disappeared... Garreg Mach is in need of a new professor... You. [[Next->Introductions]]

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/Eef7JVk.jpg"> Seteth appreciates the pity laugh. No one ever laughs at his jokes. "Now then, allow me to show you to your classroom. The students are eager to meet you." Seteth leads you out of his office. The two of you walk around the Monastery. It's a gorgeous location. You fantasize spending some quality tea time with dreamy individuals. Who aren't your students. That would be weird. You arrive at a fabulous, rainbow building built from multi-colored bricks. Seteth stops in front of the door. "This is it. We built it just for you, Professor." [["Rainbow? Very progressive!"->Introductions IV/progressive]] [[Go inside->Music Class I]] [["..."->Introductions IV/silent]]

Nope. You got Barst. [[Summon again->Summon II]]

Nope. You got Hawkeye. [[Summon again->Summon III]]

Nope. You got Bartre. [[Summon again->Summon IV]]

Nope. You got Nino. [[Summon again->Summon VI]]

Nope. You got Barst. [[Summon again->Summon VII]]

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/HPWtTh3.jpg"> You got Yeezy Volkswagen Dragon! [[You did it!->Defeat I]]